Friday, August 23, 2019

The last one to go

Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid. ~Frederick Buechner

Its crazy to me that THIS is where my blogs will finally merge.  Generally my life stuff goes into Be the Sunshine and my gym stuff lives here.  They cross over a bit, but for the most part i try to stay in the right lane. Except today, of all days, they slammed into each other.  Because today was Josh's last day at SiB.  At least as a "regular".  And boy, is THAT hard to write.  Im not sure I realized just how much of SiB was tied into Josh, lacrosse & his friends until now.  Now that they are all off to college.

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.  ~Chinese proverb

So here, finally, is the convergence of my gym life crashing into home.  Cue the days of crying ahead.  It's hard when any of your kids leave.  It was no less emotional for me when Jake & Luke left. I have all the same concerns and sadness, and excitement for them.  And I'm so proud of them.  I think i have them all pretty much the same advice.  But on this last go 'round, it just seems a bit harder.  Maybe because its another one of those final lasts on the journey of growing your people up.

The good news is that I've learned that you never stop parenting.  Even when your kids are grown and gone, they still need you.  So i know that there is some solace in that, especially for you guys sending your first kids off.  My grown kids are awesome, and i still talk to them mostly every day - or every week.  They still come home for the good stuff, and when i need them to.  It's not the same, it never will be, but it IS ok.  We will make it through.  But none of that makes saying goodbye (for now) any easier.

To live in this world, you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go. ~Mary Oliver

Josh is not only my baby boy, he is also my gym guinea pig.  I started offering the group conditioning
classes for the boys when he was in middle school - mostly for that group of guys.  It transitioned into lacrosse team training when Jake & Luke were in high school.  But Josh's group definitely benefited the most from the evolution of SiB.  What he needed, what his team needed, those principles became the backbone for the programming.  How could I help the kids perform better, longer and with less injury? The muscular endurance part stemmed from the need to help these kids succeed.  And when Josh needed to put weight on, we pushed through the barbell programming. It wasnt all because of him, dont get me wrong.  But the things HE needed definitely influenced the direction of the thought process behind SiB.  And in helping him get better, we all got stronger together.

Good for the body is the work of the body, and good for the soul is the work of the soul, and good for either is the work of the other. ~Henry David Thoreau

So as he, and JT, Dean, Merlon & Mike & all the other kids that have come thru SiB over the years, leave for school, here are some of the things I have learned after all the send-offs.  Some are the same, and some have changed as I have watched my older boys grow into men through this experience:

Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.  ~John Dewey

Go to class.  always.  no matter what.  sick, tired, hungover (im not saying thats ok, but seriously).  if you go to class, you will be ok.  you cant NOT go and expect to succeed.  just trust me on this. SHOWING UP is what is important.

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. ~Danny Kaye

Have fun.  soak up all the experiences.  dont sit in your room and play xbox every day.  there is more out there to see and do.  sure play xbox with your friends from home.  stay in touch.  but do new things too.

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. ~Aristotle

Participate.  There is a lot going on in the world right now.  Pay attention.  Life can either happen AT you, or with you.  Keep your eyes open and LISTEN to other people.  This is the best time to see how other people view things. Keep an open mind.  Be a citizen of the world.  Everything is not about YOU.  You are just a single part of the whole.  It's important that you do YOUR part, and recognize that other people are also doing theirs.

I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty. ~John D. Rockefeller, Jr.

Don't be THAT guy.  In sports and in life.  Be mindful.  Do what you say you are going to do.  Follow thru.  SHOW UP.   Be prepared.  Exceed expecations.  Don't take the easy way out.  The bare minimum is NOT the standard you should be applying.  In school, in sports or in life.  Integrity and commitment matter.  Be the guy that does the work.

Smart people do stupid things, but they don't do them again to make sure. ~Robert Brault

Be True.  To you. To your family.  Your friends.  You wont always do the right thing.  No one is perfect.  Own your mistakes.  Take responsibility.  And learn from it.  You grow through ALL the experiences, not just the good ones.  Allowing yourself the room to make mistakes. It happens. All you can do is ride it out and make a better choice the next time.

Where we love is home,
Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Call your MOM.  & your dad.  Snap your brothers.  Text your grandparents.  Keep in touch with the people who knew you when.  Your support system is ALWAYS there for you.  You need them.  AND THEY NEED YOU.  Everyone wants you to embrace new things.  Meet new people.  Step out into the great new world, but keep a toe in the one you left behind.  Your family is your rock - no matter what.  Don't lose that connection while you are away.

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.  
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no finish line.  I think one of the hardest things to know and learn is that you are never "there".  There is always someplace you need to get to.  You invest incredible amounts of time and energy, studying, lifting, running, practicing to get to college.  To play at the next level.  And then guess what?  You have to keep on getting it.  Stay strong.  Mentally and Physically.  Treat yourself right.  You worked so hard to get here.  Enjoy it, but also keep on doing all those things that made it happen.

The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. 
~Sydney J. Harris

There is no finish line for SiB either. I guess that is what i have to learn.  My boys are done.  We did it.  But in the process, we built a community.  And that community will keep on going.  We will continue to get stronger, and push each other.  Hopefully we will help another group of young men and women find their path.  I know that is true.  Today, it just feels hard to think about.  Im not exactly where the programming goes from here.  I just know that I, like the boys, need to just keep going.  Embrace the next step.  Love all the people who come my way.  And keep in touch with all those moving on.

Be loyal to what you love, be true to the earth, fight your enemies with passion and laughter. ~Edward Abbey

I love all my SiB people.  But especially my boys. They have taught me so much.  Kept me motivated when I was tempted to give it all up. Gave me a reason to embrace my dream.  And I am not exactly sure what I am going to do without them.  I guess the good news is that they come back around.  And we will be here waiting for them.