to each his own

The truth is, that the craving for exercise is a part of healthy human nature. ~E. Warre, 1884

going out of town always presents a challenge for those of us who are incapable of taking the time off.  i understand that one solution would be to just REST.  but that clearly is not for everyone. especially when said travel involves stress or overeating or both :).  so.  generally i take my "lets WOD" app out and just exercise outside.  but lately i have been trying to go to different gyms, just to see what other people have going on.  consider it a busmans holiday type deal.  and this weekend i had 2 totally opposite ends of the spectrum.  which made me realize how far i have evolved on this fitness journey. neither was better than the other. one just no longer fit me.  AT ALL.

saturday morning i went to Gold's Gym.  my home away from home for YEARS.  i absolutely ADORED my time at Gold's.  and the gym in Webster that i visit is an awesome example of what Gold's gym does right.  the owner has evolved with the times.  its an amazing space.  and he is a great gym owner.  BUT.  i no longer am the kind of girl that knows how to work out at that gym.  and here is why:  no one was sweating.  now don't get me wrong, i did not take a class, nor were any going on.  i am sure those people still get their workout on.  however, the people on the gym floor - not so much. which i never thought was odd when i used to work, and workout, in that environment.

i spent years watching the back & bi, shoulder & tri crew do their thing.  i just didnt really connect that some people (or alot of people) are still doing that.  i forgot how much time said lifters spend watching their form in the mirrors - that are literally EVERYWHERE.  no wonder they dont want to sweat!  i kept catching glances of my grossly sweaty self and thinking "jesus, do i always look like this when i work out?".  clearly, the answer is yes.  which makes me doubly glad we dont have mirrors.

We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be. ~Jane Austen

mirrors might help your form.  maybe.  but they also make you self conscious.  they bring the focus back to what you LOOK like. not what you are doing. if you need a mirror to correct your form, you are not listening to the cues your body is sending you.  also, just EW. i do NOT need to be staring at myself working out.  case in point.  i'm standing on a platform, doing a fairly heavy clean and jerk.  and literally every time i catch the bar, im staring at my struggling face and thinking "do i always look this big".  which is SUPER counter-productive.  fuck.

did i say i hate mirrors in the gym? i was certified to teach every class under the sun (except yoga - because, you know, YOGA), and there was ONE CLASS you had to teach facing the mirror.  i can not for the life of me remember which one it was (maybe body combat??) because i never taught it again after the first time - zero chance i was going to stare into the mirror and try to lead a class.  Z.E.R.O.

im sure it says more about me than the gym, but this is where i am.  i felt on display.  and i know i spent more time watching other people than i ever would anywhere else.  it was strange to feel so out of place in an environment that i literally "grew up" in. i am officially no longer a box gym girl.  i probably already knew that.  but wow.  i am now completely convinced.  which is not in any way to say that they dont have value.  they do.  and if you are comfortable there - go you.  and keep on getting it.

Flowers often grow more beautifully on dung-hills than in gardens that look beautifully kept. ~Saint Francis de Sales

on the complete other end of the spectrum, i went to a local crossfit box on sunday.  it was SUPER HOT -like 95 and humid.  the floor was kind of dirty in that black flooring that can never stay clean kind of way.  i know this because we did 55 bar over burpees.  i became well acquainted with said floor. and did i say, it was hot in there?  BUT,  not a mirror in site.  dirty and sweaty were pretty much the standard.  no one watched anyone else except to make sure they were not, in fact, actually dying. i got my ass kicked by a woman 6 months pregnant - who was an absolute rockstar.  and while i am usually pretty uncomfortable in a crossfit gym as well, this time i was not. at all.  i was just so freaking happy to be somewhere where my level of sweaty grossnesss was NORMAL.

i have changed.  and what i am comfortable with has also changed. shocking, i know.  but it goes to my overall philosophy change.  STRONG is beautiful.  in order to BE strong, and to GET strong, the journey is not pretty.  it's sweaty, and dirty.  it is downright ugly in places.  because maximum effort HURTS.   i am happy when someone calls me a beast.  when i leave an entire outline of my body in sweat on the floor.  i feel accomplished when i can ring my shirt out - or when there are no dry places left to wipe my face. those things are NOT pretty.  but they ARE beautiful.  at least to me.

Your body is a flower that life let bloom.... ~Ilchi Lee

i hope everyone loves their gym.  or their box.  or their studio.  i think the most important thing is to find a place where you can be YOU.  you can get your workout on, in whatever manner helps you the most.  and it's ok if one day the place you used to be comfortable, doesnt quite fit anymore.  there is someplace out there that will fit your new attitude or perspective.  who knows, maybe one day i will actually walk into a yoga studio.  evolution and growth are always good.  and the journey is different for every one of us.  embrace it. even if it includes mirrors :)

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~Theodore Roosevelt