doing things you hate

An hour of basketball feels like 15 minutes.  An hour on a treadmill feels like a weekend in traffic school.  ~David Walters

this pretty much sums up how i feel about running.  which i am totally dreading by the way - and havent even done yet.  it just struck me today, as i was recording my workout, that THIS must be what people who dont like the gym feel like.  i dont know why it has never really occurred to me before - because WHO doesn't like the GYM???? right?  but it was a total revelation for me.  and it went a little like this:

me - i'm FINALLY going to actually do a triathlon this year (which i've trained for before, signed up for even - and never actually showed up to - shocking, i know)
cindy - cool, i will do it with you (even tho its in july and it will be SO hot)
me - awesome (END OF STORY).
cindy - lets go for a bike ride tomorrow - i have a bike you can use
me - OUTSIDE?? tomorrow?? um, ok.
so off we go - 13 miles and 55 minutes later, i'm like - cool, we totally have this tri in the bag.  no problem.
cindy - let's go for a swim tomorrow.
me - in the pool?  already? i can't swim.  i sink. i can't breathe.  i hate it.
cindy - how about noon.
me - ugh. ok
so off we go - 30 horrendous laps for me (i'm sure cindy doubled that) and 32 minutes later...i'm certain i am going to drown and cindy has serious concerns that i can swim in open water.  WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK am i doing???  AND I HAVEN'T EVEN RUN YET.

why do i do this to myself?  there is absolutely no reason in the universe that i have to compete in any kind of triathlon.  except that i keep chickening out.  and i realized today that i wasn't so much that i am a big fat chicken, so much as i seriously just dont like to run, i DETEST swimming.  i feel like i'm dying.  so now i'm committed to an event where i have to do 3 things:  run - which i hate, but am ok at, bike - which i swore i would never do outside after rehabbing my life away in college AND joked with all my spin classes for years that there was no actual point, and swim - which might actually end up being the death of me.  what is wrong with me??  worst idea EVER.

The key to life is accepting challenges. Once someone stops doing this, he’s dead. -Bette Davis

except when its over, it will be awesome, right? isn't that what keeps up going?  motivating us to do those things we don't like?  i hope so.  because i am staring 3 months of once a week biking/swimming in the face - and it better damn well be worth it!!  and that's not even addressing the running.  it goes without saying how much i hate running, right? but now i feel like this is something i need to conquer - not just because its been hanging over my head for years, but because NOW it is giving me a greater understanding of what it REALLY means to push thru something you hate, because its good for you.

i have never understood people who tell me they dont like to work out. honestly.  it just doesn't compute in my head.  i understand not liking certain things - lifting or running or biking or zumba or whatever. but nothing?? at all? i dont get it.  and maybe because of that i have tried to keep my workouts unique and different.  because at some point, something is going to change their mind, right?  they just haven't found the "right" workout.  it never dawned on me that for some people there just isn't a "right" workout.  and i have newfound respect for ALL of you that actually, seriously don't like to exercise at all - but do it anyway.  that must totally SUCK. YOU are my new heroes.  because i can't imagine working this hard, all the time, and never, ever liking it.  at all.

The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people. -Randy Pausch 

consider my tri dedicated to all of  you.  those that come to SiB and those that workout anywhere at all, that really just don't enjoy it.  i admire your dedication.  exercise is important.  our culture has become way too sedentary, our health is in jeopardy, and our kids are inactive, which is totally a blog for another day.  but at the end of the day, those of you who are pushing through all the challenges and reasons why NOT to workout and are still getting it done - you guys rock.  and if you are doing it while despising every second of it - i'm so so so sorry.  but good for you.  keep that shit up. its important.

Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.  John F. Kennedy