Close don't count in baseball. Close only counts in horseshoes and grenades. Frank Robinson
im a lucky girl. i know this. my parents are both alive and kicking, and have been married for over 50 years. we are extremely close - as in, we live in the same neighborhood close. and i see them all the time. which means i often take them for granted. and as i get older, i am trying to not do that so much. because what should be obvious, but isnt always, is that i the older i get, the older they get too. which in a roundabout way leads me to this little bit of vacation wisdom.
Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life! ~Albert Einstein
we are a competitive family. and ironically, my mother is THE most competitive. scarily so. and while people laugh when i say im not really competitive - i'm really NOT, comparatively :). what
does this have to do with anything? mostly its just an observation about evolution. my parents played softball when i was little. and bowled. duck pin, no less. they played cards and mah-jong. which somehow didnt translate into my brain as competition - it was more like socialization, right? that is what they did with their friends and family, so somehow i missed the competitive part. but they were definitely competing. maybe the games changed over the years, and got less physical in nature, but i can now state with absolute certainty that my mom will still slit your throat over cards, and my dad will still bust his ass to beat you in horseshoes. pretty cool revelation about my 71 & 75 year old parents.
To remain always young, we need only do at every age what harmonises with it. ~Max Nordau
what does this have to do with horseshoes? well, that's our vacation game. and i learned quite a lot from my dad this time around. in the cosmic, big picture sense of the word. because he is not quite the spry young man he once was. and you can see that his age is finally catching up with him. and yet, he still wants to play. isnt that the fear that we all have about getting older? one day we wont be able to do the things we love to do. and even if we can do them, we wont be as good as we once were.
The older you get the stronger the wind gets — and it's always in your face. ~Jack Nicklaus
to me, my dad has always been a rockstar. he played softball with us until he was 60. and pitched. he coached every team we every played, and several of my kids teams. he has always been a competitor. and a good one. he's the guy you always wanted on your team. forever. and you can see now, at 75, that is no longer the case. even tho in his head, it still should be. and so, here we are. and this is what i continue to learn from my pop:
we all have to live where we are, in our own bodies. and those bodies are aging, every single day. age is just a number. until its a big number. then it really DOES impact who you are. and what you can do. or no longer do. and you have to find a way to be at peace with that.
aging may not have to be done gracefully, but it requires humor. when your 75 year old body can no longer throw a horseshoe the length of the pit over and over again, you can either cry over it, or find it funny. and transition gracefully from the guy carrying the team, to the guy being carried. because the good news is that you are still on the team.
it might be hard, but we have to appreciate each stage of the life we have. this stage for my dad involves a lot more napping, and way less playing. but he is still here. and able to hang out at the horseshoe pit for a couple of hours. he can have a few beers with friends and sit in the hot tub. it may not sound super exciting, but that's ok. because that is where he is at this moment.
you are always YOU, but the degrees might vary. after a few not so stellar games (and a bit of heckling), i turned the tables and dropped some coaching on pop. definitely not our normal way of doing things. but i could see that he was frustrated. and rather than continue to let him BE frustrated, i suggested some modifications. we both had a minute of "what the fuck" about it. but then he laughed, heckled back, and made some changes. and even hit a ringer :)
accept the evolution. my dad jokes that he is turning into an old woman. and he kind of is. he is super aware that his time on this earth is limited. he is tragically concerned with safety in all of its forms. the ne'er do well of his youth is long gone. his hearing is not so good. he puts up with A LOT of "what did you say" jokes. and with all of his grandchildren calling him JOHN to get his attention. and that is ok. it's all just ok. because the alternative is to not be here. which is just awful. or to be bitter about the changes to his person. when there is nothing that can be done about it. this is the commonality. those of us that are lucky enough to get old, will in fact get OLD. and old is good. old is life well spent. old is being surrounded by people who love you - even when they heckle. old is the goal.
When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses. ~Joyce Brothers
how does this parlay to you, and to 46 year old me? well, no matter how old you are today, or what you can do, it wont be the same next year. for some of you, it might be better. age does that. it ebbs and flows what we are good at. so ENJOY IT. whatever IT is. because the next time you do it, you might not be as good. or it might not be as fun. the good news is, then you get to change it.
The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been. ~Madeleine L'Engle
nothing is forever, as the saying goes. embrace the body you have today. be grateful for all the things it can do. today. and understand that the best thing you can do for yourself, and the people that love you, is embrace it. i can promise you that in the long run, the cellulite and wrinkles wont matter. whether or not you can still throw a ball or run up the stairs wont matter. what will matter is that you are present long enough to get there.
To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there. ~Barbara Bush
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