a gym community

 

No one is useless in this world... who lightens the burden of it for any one else. ~Charles Dickens

Over the years I have been asked quite a few times WHY I decided to start SiB (and eventually eQ).  And the honest answer is that to some degree it happened organically, with the kids training.  Someone asked me to help and I did.  But the real "launch" of SiB happened because at the end of the day, I never found a gym "home" after Gold's closed.  I attended other gyms and definitely found instructors I liked and workout friends - but I never felt the sense of COMMUNITY that I had at Gold's.  And for me, that was the piece that was missing.  So you know, I made my own.  I feel like I am the queen of "pick up your toys and leave if you don't like it".  Just ask anyone who knew me pre-Warrior Baseball Club or CCLC :)

ANYHOO, I digress.  The reason this is on my mind today is because I got an awesome dose of that community yesterday.  And it reminded me of my "why" - and how grateful I am that I am surrounded by so many amazing people.  Somehow I got suckered (or FOMO'd) into running the Bay Bridge 10k - AGAIN.  After I promised myself I was never going to pay to run anywhere ever again.  But alas, I can't resist my gym crew and for some ungodly reason, they LIKE to run.  

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. ~Martin Mull

So my merry band of 13 did the thing.  We had serious runners, run/walk/run peeps (like me), and walkers.  It was NOT about killing it, but about accomplishing it.  Some wanted to beat their time year over year, and some just wanted to experience the actual traversing of the bridge -which is VERY cool, if you haven't done it.  But we ALL were motivated by the group outing.  And the best part for me was the actual make-up of the crew - we had OG SiB peeps, mother/daughter combos, siblings - and both old friends AND new friends.  All with different goals and times and outcomes BUT we ALL did it.  And every single person was genuinely excited for every other person.  It is never about competing with each other, but propping each other up.  Don't get me wrong, we definitely compete - but 90% of the time it is with ourselves.  We know the reason we are at the gym is to personally get better - whether that is physically or mentally or both.

Each of us is a being in himself and a being in society, each of us needs to understand himself and understand others, take care of others and be taken care of himself. ~Haniel Long

It hit me this week a little harder because I have been in a bit of a funk - and battling some personal challenges.  But I KNOW I have this amazing community to help support me.  And I love that my community knows that we are here for each one of them too.  We work out - obviously.  But we also celebrate milestones and commiserate.  We share food stories and where to buy fun things.  We "coffee clutch" as necessary - and we have donut fridays.  These are all things that are MORE than just a place to work out.  The work out is the VEHICLE that drives our community.  But the passengers are what drives it to be such a special place day in and day out.

In this age of division and meanness, I am so grateful to have a place where what we have in common allows us to leave the bullshit at the door.  We can engage in interesting and diverse conversations while still maintaining respect for each other.  It's not always easy, but the feeling of COMMUNITY is one that reigns in some of those more challenging impulses.  We value our gym home, and the people in it.  We respect the effort it takes to get there and set aside those other daily struggles to make time for our health.  We know we always have a built in support system if we need to bitch or cry, and definitely one to help celebrate.   It's such a great feeling. And one I do not take for granted.

Every action of your life touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity. ~Edwin Hubbell Chapin

Over the last handful of years, I have watched our community go thru engagements and weddings.  pregnancies and babies.  new homes, new spouses and lots of new friends.  we have suffered losses and divorces, job challenges, kid challenges and everything in between.  At eQ you literally know at least a little something about EVERYONE you work out with.  There are no strangers - only cheerleaders and friends.  This is the gift of the small studio environment, and is a direct reflection on the amazing people who have come thru the doors and made this place their home.  It's like Cheers, but for working out.  Go us!

So somehow I am sure I am going to get suckered into ANOTHER run by my crazy crew.  I look forward every year to this time of year in the gym - before the new year insanity, we come together to celebrate the holiday madness...ie the GRID and the COOKIE exchange!  It is those annual traditions that help solidify our community - and we invite you to jump in if you haven't yet.

Also, we have puppies.....that never hurts!

Happiness is a warm puppy. ~Charles M. Schulz

Losing a Dog (temporarily) and Gaining Faith in Humanity (again)

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive. ~Gilda Radner

I am not sure there is a person out there that knows me that DOESN'T know about Penni's wild adventure.  But for those that need the recap, Penni (our sheltie puggle poo - i KNOW) got out of our fenced in yard on Monday afternoon.  Generally speaking, our dogs over the years have made their escape - but always for a VERY brief excursion to the neighbors or around the block.  This time was VASTLY different:

In the cosmic way of things, we had a roofer come look at our roof- who did not close our gate all the way.  So as I was happily (or not) sitting at my desk (aka kitchen counter), Kris walked in and said "Pete's in the front yard - where's Penni?" So once we realized she was not in fact in the house or yard, I PANICKED.  Penni is a puppy - and she is FAST.  She chases squirrels as entertainment and generally is just a wacky crazy hound.  So we all immediately jump in our cars and start looking. And when I say she was NOWHERE, I mean zero sightings of her anywhere in our vicinity.

GUILT.  That is emotion #1.  Why did I take off her airtag (she was digging at it)?  Why didn't I notice
sooner that she was out of the yard (clearly I'm oblivious)?  No she's not chipped.  No she doesn't have anything on her collar but her rabies tag.  Yes I KNOW all of those things are important NOW.  But we have never really had a "runner".  As I mentioned, Pete was sitting his happy ass in the front yard....he clearly knows where his bread is buttered.  And HE has the airtag.....

What ensued was both completely stressful and sad and ridiculously hard. But it was also incredibly amazing and reassuring at the same time.  What I learned from our 5 day adventure is A LOT.  And that is what I am hoping to share with you all.

While the spirit of neighborliness was important on the frontier because neighbors were so few, it is even more important now because our neighbors are so many. ~Claudia Alta Taylor “Lady Bird” Johnson

• People are GOOD!  As the most basic level, people truly want to help.  We had our FB post shared about 100x.  Every single person that shared it helped us connect to people  we didn't know who ultimately ended up being our eyes and ears around town.  The outpouring of support and well-wishes was truly amazing.
• We still live in a "small town".  Even though LaPlata is growing - and often in ways that feel too fast or too big or too commercial - it is still OUR town. Every neighborhood had an advocate who posted in their community group.  And the families that live on Route 6 were absolute ROCKSTARS.  They let us use their ring cameras, put food and clothes and traps in their yards.  In this crazy day and age of skepticism and fear, EVERY SINGLE person who's door we knocked on was not only receptive but went out of their way to help.  
• ANIMALS are universal.  We love them.  ALL of us.  From the older gentlemen who initially called us about a sighting, to the hunter who stopped to help while we searched.  From my high school friend who I have not seen in years that SCOURED the woods for 2 days and called in reinforcements, to the woman who runs a rescue that provided advice and help and cameras.  From my actual family that walked the woods, hung signs, moved traps and generally stepped out of their comfort zone to talk to a million strangers, to those strangers who ALL put out food or water or treats in their yard.  Not a single person shrugged it off.  
• 
  No man is an island.  I admit that post Covid Deni is not social. At all.  If I don't see you at the gym, I don't see you.  It's one of the hardest, and most honest, results of the isolation we all went thru.  I don't like to ask for help AND I became even worse than I always was about keeping in touch with my friends.  And I lost a lot of them - or thought I did if that makes sense.  But this made me realize that I really didn't.  Friends I had not talked to in forever reached out.  They showed up.  They saw us walking down rt6 and stopped to help.  They made an effort when I needed help - and it made me realize that I also need to make more of an effort.  It doesn't have to take a challenge to put yourself out there - and it shouldn't.
• Not to get political, but I think we have let politics divide us.  You see a Trump sign or a Pride flag and you make assumptions about those people without really knowing them.  We have let these "signs" replace actual conversation and relationships.  We stay in our rabbit holes and walk away from those "other" people.  And that is sad.  I go back to point #1.  People are good.  They are doing the best that they can with the information they have.  If we are all a bit kinder to each other, and willing to listen a bit more, we will ALL be better off.

Happiness is a warm puppy. ~Charles M. Schulz

I don't want to make this too long.  I just want to make sure EVERYONE knows how grateful we are.  Every single person that sent a positive vibe our way truly helped keep us going.  Every phone call, text, post or message HELPED so much.  I finished this week with a profound sense of gratitude.  Something I needed very much. Yes, it was a stressful week.  But it was also a joyful one.  

As KB said, we try to put good karma out there - and he was convinced 1000% that she would come home.  And she did.  Chalk one up to small towns, good neighbors, friends, family and liquid smoke!

Perspective is everything

The question is not what you look at, but what you see. ~Henry David Thoreau

So it's been just over a year since I moved over to eQuillibrium and wow have I learned A LOT!  I knew (from previous somewhat failed attempts) that growing a gym business was hard. And I am here to report that I was NOT wrong (ha)!  But overall it has been such an incredible experience - and we are well on our way to bigger and better things!  Well, maybe not better - but bigger anyway :)

Opening up our facility to more people - and people from various gyms, recommendations and even the internet - has brought a much greater mix of abilities, expectations and goals.  Which is AMAZING.  eQ has become a place where what WE want takes precedent over what I want, and has brought some really great results.  At SiB, I ran the programming based on what I was trying to accomplish, personally - and  I invited some friends along for the ride.  But it was not super adaptive and that was my biggest concern in branching out.....could I create a more inclusive environment, while still making sure we didn't lose out on the intensity of what we had developed at SiB?  And I think so far the answer is yes! YAY!

Don't reinvent the wheel, just realign it. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book

Why am I bringing all of this up now?  Well, it has to do with the MIRRORS!!!  In the fitness industry you either love them or hate them.  Crossfit normalized NOT having mirrors, after years and years and years of general group exercise rooms in those big box gyms.  And I for one was SO HAPPY to see the move away from them.  For YEARS at SiB I resisted every time someone asked for them.  "It's not what we do here"  or "we don't need mirrors to be effective" was always my response.  And it was easy to say no over there because we had a small group, we generally helped each other out AND I had no desire for the teams to be distracted by them.  Pretty much all an excuse, because I just generally don't like the "vibe" of what the mirrors represented.....to me.

Fast forward to this year.  As we expanded the schedule, the instructor roster grew and I got to hear, for the first time in a long time, lots of different perspectives from people in the industry.  Which has changed a whole bunch since my Gold's Gym days.  And our arguably most well attended class is Mixxed Fit.  Which is as fun as it sounds, by the way.  Definitely WAY outside of my wheelhouse, but because it is so big - and has some serious choreography - mirrors would be a huge help to both the instructors and the members.  And so I caved and we installed 1 fairly big mirror.  With all these dumb "rules" like this is not for "selfies".  Why I was trying to control this is beyond me - but at least I am fairly self- aware about my level of crazy.

...for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Fast forward, first mirror is a smash (pun intended).  The girls loved it and the instructors were happy so YAY.  Lesson learned - be okay with new and different ideas.  This is going to be a big group effort in finding the "right" combination of classes, styles, people and motivation.  This is where the perspective piece comes in.  Because not only do I need to get varying perspectives, I also have some to share.  Teamwork makes the dream work  and all that.  And when a member (who shall remain nameless - cough, cough) offered up another mirror for the back wall, I thought why not?  So we hung up a smaller mirror, which ultimately faces where I stand when I am leading a class.  Big mistake.....HUGE.  Did I mention I hate mirrors?

This is where it gets funny.  At least I think so.  I am facing this stupid mirror class after class - and I admit I find them helpful to check form and see the back of the class better - but every time I look up, all I can think is "am I really this wide?"  Here I am busting my ass day after day, doing WAY more cardio than I have in years and this freaking mirror makes me feel like I'm GIANT.  So I try to mostly ignore it, but I'm human - and its nagging in the back of my brain.  For all the times I say (and truly believe) that fitness is NOT about what you look like - you know it's about HEALTH and being able to DO the things you want to do in your real life - I still want to LOOK fit.  It's definitely a quandary. But again, I'm totally aware of the hypocrisy and try to be honest about it. 

ANYWAY.  One day I am kind of side stepping while teaching a power bar class - and realize that depending on where I am standing, I am 2 different sizes.  My good friend (who will still remain nameless) donated a large bathroom mirror - which CLEARLY was meant to make you feel bad about yourself when walking naked out of a shower.  

See evidence 🠈🠈  Same day, exactly 30 seconds apart. It almost looks like a before and after photo - or maybe that is just me (and wishful thinking). But it really made me think about how I view myself and what that mirror was telling me.

PERSPECTIVE is everything, friends.  I am no different in either of those photos.  I am just standing in a different spot. Looking at the same thing, just from a different viewpoint.  Life lessons abound!!

The next few days, every time I had class I would make everyone do the side step exercise.  Not that it really made a huge difference, but the point was the same.  We need to change it up sometimes.  If you don't like where you are standing, move.  See what a change in outlook can bring to you.

The gym business is a visual one.  Which is one of the things I struggle with the most.  I don't believe your size has ANY relation to your fitness.  I am at my strongest when I am generally heavier.  Maybe that is in my head, or maybe is just relativity.  But I KNOW I can be fit at any weight or size - and so can anyone else.  This is why I try not to encourage or get hung up on what fit "looks" like.  But just like your physical weight, its another "metric" we use to judge our progress.  And unfortunately, I think we all judge our appearance much more harshly than we do our performance.

I am saying all that to say this.  We are all human.  These are trying times.  Fitness should be something that ADDS to your life, not detracts from it.  And sometimes we all need a change in perspective to learn something new.  Be open to changes - and different viewpoints.  I think we would all be in a better place if we opened up to seeing things just a tiny bit differently.

Change our thought, and the world around us changes. ~Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever

As always, thanks for coming on this journey with me.  I am going to try to get back to blogging a bit more again.  We have another wedding coming up, so the  journey from where I am now to where I am going to be in April 2025 should be fun for us all (yes, its still shoulder season).  xoxo

say YES to new adventures.....1 year later

February of 2023. i had just lost a job and was in Colombia, looking at Jake & Alesha's amazing wedding venue....and trying to figure out what to do with my life.  aside from take a small sabbatical and figure out (finally) what i wanted to be when i grew up - even though i am already supposedly grown.  the funny thing about Cartagena is that not only is it incredibly beautiful, it is also chock full of signs. like literal signs - there is NEON everywhere.  it might be the most instagrammable place on earth.  and into this whole in the wall restaurant/bar i found "MY" sign.  it just said "say yes to new adventures".  and so i did.

It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves — in finding themselves. ~André Gide

fast forward 365 days.  what an adventure it has been.  i decided NOT to go back into the corporate soul-sucking rat-race that was dragging me down and take a giant gamble.  on me this time.  and while it is still a HUGE work in progress, it has lived up to the "adventure" i said yes to.  why am i telling you this?  mostly because i try to share my lessons as they come up.  and its cathartic. so if you are still with me, thanks!  hope it might help you too :)

so being jobless for the first time in the history of ever was quite a shock.  and honestly a bit demoralizing, right?  no one likes to be told they are not doing a good job - even if they are doing something they hate.  which i was - and did.  go figure.  its hard to be both reflective and honest, but its necessary sometimes. and along about this time, i had an opportunity present itself.  one i had never considered - mostly because i was afraid to take such a huge risk.  and because (as i have said approximately 1 million times) i am not a great business person.  i love the gym. i love helping people.  i love working out. i HATE monetizing it. and every time i have in the  past, it has turned something i love into something i dread.  so you know.  eternal side hustle for the win.  or so i thought.

Adventures are things that happen that aren't supposed to happen. ~Percy Keese Fitzhugh, Roy Blakeley: Lost, Strayed or Stolen, 1921

ANYWAY.  back to my opportunity.  i JUST saw a sign that say yes to new adventures, right?  and someone presented me with a potential adventure - too much of a coincidence for this girl to ignore.  so i took both of those things as the signs they were, and jumped in.  and let me tell you friends, it was SCARY.  like super scary.  like round up ALLLLL the $ you have access to scary.  but then i thought - people go into business everyday - it MUST be worth it - and doable, right? rationalization for leveraging my life away, i guess.

fast forward a couple of months.  that first opportunity that made me take the jump didnt pan out.  but what it did do was make me write a business plan.  and organize my capital.  and find out who i could count on for support.  it made me step WAY outside of my comfort zone and really decide if i was going to FINALLY take the plunge and invest in my business.  and the answer, thankfully, was yes :)

If life is not an adventure it's a sad venture, and drear at the price. After all life is after all; it is not what you make it, but what it makes you. ~Kenneth Alfred Evelyn Alexander (c.1890–1953)

we are not quite at a year of being open at eQuillibrium.  that's a whole other "anniversary".  but we are exactly at a year since i saw that sign, and started to make the changes in my life that have brought me here.  still stressed, but in such a completely different way. a better way.  a healthier way (if its possible to have healthy stress).  no one that has started a small business says the first year is anything but scary - and hard. and expensive.  but worth it.  for the FIRST time i am spending my time and energy (and stress) working on something that is important to ME.  not just a means to an end.

this is where i say KUDOs to everyone out there doing the small business thing.  its HARD. but so so so rewarding.  on lots of different levels.  and honestly, i dont really see it getting any easier.  at least not for a while.  but for the first time, aside from (you know) raising my kids, i am devoting my time and energy towards something I believe in.  i still hate (and struggle with) monetizing exercise.  because i believe we ALL need it.  but i have come to realize that it is hard to find a place where fitness means more than just how you look. and that is what strong is beautiful (and equillibrium) are all about. 

Somewhere inside, we hear a voice. It leads us in the direction of who we wish to become. But it is up to us whether or not to follow. ~Pat Tillman (1976–2004)

i get to CREATE a community that is based on the things that i have found, over the last 30 years in the industry, to be important.  that doesnt mean its the right place for everyone.  i know that fitfams are hard to come by.  when you find one that works for you - you stick with it.  i am just trying to make my fitfam more accessible :). where everyone feels welcome.  its kind of like cheers, but for exercise. i want to know everyone that comes in.  i want people to know that someone is going to check on them if they miss too many days.  i love knowing that some days the coffee clutch is just as important as the workout.  and that for  many of us, showing up is the win.  lifetime fitness is always the goal.  but its a lot easier when you have a community that makes you want to show up.  and THAT my friends, is the new adventure.  building that.  and embracing the community that comes with it.

i am super excited that i saw that sign.  and decided it was meant for me.  as always, i could never have done any of this without my family - my real one AND my fitness one.  so thanks for jumping on this ride with me.  and as i look towards this next year, i get to thank Josh Joson for my latest "sign".  it was just literally waiting for me this week when i walked into his store. :)  "it's hard to beat a person who never gives up".  and that's most definitely me.

Don't be ashamed to fail. Be too proud to cease trying. ~Minna Thomas Antrim (1861–1950)

huge hugs to you all.  thanks for supporting on my new adventure xxoxxo