You make your own "Magic"

The single relationship truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self... Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave nor lose. To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problem of your life, you are the only solution. ~Jo Coudert

i should probably have this printed on my forehead, i say it so often.  but at this time of year, before everyone jumps on the new year resolution bandwagon, i figured it was time for a refresher: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A QUICK FIX.  there are no magic pills or diets that work FOR you.  there are many things that work WITH you - and that is what we are going to focus on.  WITH YOU, people.  not "in lieu of" you.  YOU are the common denominator - and what is required for any of these things to work.  YOU!  your time. your effort. your consistency.  YOU make the magic happen....all these other things are designed to AID YOU in your journey - not replace YOU.

over the years, as a fitness professional (if that is what i am), i have seen it all, in one form or another. all the tools/tricks/fads that have come and gone.  some have stayed.  and many have not (can anyone say "curves").  fitness is an industry like any other.  someone is always trying to figure out how to make money by convincing us that they have the new "answer".  if you just do (fill in the blank), you will FINALLY be fit/skinny/healthy, which means you will finally FINALLY be happy!  and guess what - some of it can work.  some of it is plain bullshit.  but NONE of it works if YOU don't.

You will turn over many a futile new leaf till you learn we must all write on scratched-out pages. ~Mignon McLaughlin

i get it - we all want it to be easy. and its not.  it NEVER is.  eating right is hard. exercise is hard.  not drinking what you want, when you want is hard.  we all do the rationalization:  i work hard - i deserve to eat/drink what i want.  why shouldnt i eat cookies and drink wine every day if that makes me happy?  and the answer is - you should if that is REALLY what makes you happy.  unless it is causing your health to suffer.  unless it is preventing you from enjoying other aspects of your life.  i am not the food police. or the alcohol police.  no one should be.  you make choices about your lifestyle that are none of my business - AS IT SHOULD BE.

BUT. (theres always a but)  there are consequences to all of our choices - good and bad, right? you are talking to someone who actively attempts to out-train a bad diet - i have written about that ad nauseum.  that is my choice.  i would rather exercise twice a day than not have donuts - or cupcakes.  the flip side of that is that i dont really drink.  THOSE are the calories i choose not to consume.   and why is that?  because i cant eat what i want AND drink what i want AND feel good about how i both look and feel. i  want my sugar intake to be in the form of icing - preferably on top of some kind of baked deliciousness. i digress.....

the point here is this:  it takes time - and concerted effort - to make changes.  any changes. and honestly, if you use an aide to help you get started - GO YOU. we all need help - be that an accountability buddy, a dieting app, meal prep service, or whatever new diet pill is the current rage.  BUT those things are just ONE PIECE of the puzzle that gets you to your goals.  there is no ONE thing that will magically make you skinny or happy or fit - and definitely not all of the above.  and if you think that there is, you are consistently setting yourself up for failure and disappointment.

Don't be afraid to Dig Down. Things worth having are rarely found upon the surface. ~Minna Thomas Antrim

but deni, its easy for you - you own a gym. oh, how many times have i heard that....yes. i do, in fact, own a gym. but i also have another job (gym ownership is not for the faint of heart). so yes, i work out VERY consistently. and have for the most part for over 25 years.  i love it. and i know i am LUCKY that i do.  but i didnt always.  as a matter of fact, i got a job at the gym all those years ago so i would HAVE TO GO.  turns out, i need other people relying on me to show up to make me go.  hence my obsession with group fitness.  that is what works for me.  it may not work for you.  AND THAT IS OK. but you have to find that thing that DOES.  the old cliche that you either find time to exercise or find time to be ill may not resonate in your 20s or 30s.  but boy howdy, does it resonate in your 50s.

here is where i tell you that "fitness" takes many forms.  you might decide that walking or yoga or biking is your jam.  i think Peleton has made fitness accessible for lots of people who dont like gyms.  the internet is literally chock full of ideas on how to stay fit in your jammies if that is your thing.  so PLEASE do not take this as a "you need to go to the gym" push.  at the end of the day, the reason i love the gym is because of the community.  i need people to help me stay consistent.  and i love sharing that with other people.  but if its not your jam, it doesnt have to be.  but you need to figure out what IS. eventually.

The two most empowering words in the English language are:  I choose.

this is where YOU come in.  change is hard.  and doing things we dont like is even harder. doing them both at once SUCKS.  this is where the community piece comes in.  and sometimes that is even HARDER.  because we dont want to be judged.  and lets be honest, women can be judgy bitches.  so we quietly struggle.  we think we are the only ones who think its not fair that we cant eat what we want - or who hate the gym - or are tired of eating lettuce.  whatever it is, trust me, you are NOT alone.  and what sharing your journey does it helps you to understand that no one thinks its easy.  despite what all those commercials tell you.  no one loses 50 pounds and loves every minute of it.  its never "SO" easy.  even if you are happy with your results.

SO.  YOU are the key.  YOU make the decisions that impact how effective your tools and strategies become.  weight watchers wont magically make you lose weight, but it can make your relationship with food more manageable.  diet drugs can help you to jumpstart weight loss but YOU are the one who adopts the strategies for long term success.  if you are expecting ANYTHING to be easy when it comes to long term fitness or wellness, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.  and just because something is hard, doesnt mean its awful.  lots of things are hard but AWESOME. learning to eat right and incorporate activity into your life FOR THE LONG TERM starts out hard.  and then ebbs and flows throughout your journey.  its like everything else in life - sometimes its super fun - and sometimes is super sucky.  stop expecting this to be any different.  just jump on the train and ride it - when its smooth sailing AND when its bumpy as fuck.  its just another part of your life that you will adapt to - and hopefully share with some awesome people along the way.

Strength, will power, determination and a pinch of you. That's the cocktail for success. ~Adarsh

fitness trends come and go.  your motivation will also come and go. diet fads again - come and go (cabbage soup diet, anyone?).  what remains constant is YOU.  how you adapt to the changes your life throws at you.  what kind of support system you build around you.  and the things YOU prioritize.  own your choices - ask for help - and stop telling yourself it was supposed to be easy.  if "it" (anything really) was easy, everyone would do it/have it.  right?  nothing in life is easy.  but it IS worth it.  you got this.  whatever it is.  find your own magic, and get moving!

...a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life. ~James Allen