Community & Competition

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. ~John Wooden

I spend a lot of time dissecting why we compete, what it does for us as a gym and me personally.  But today i had another one of those epiphanies, while i was silently hiding and crying in the back of the studio.  The competitions give the gym a purpose, and a common ground to build on.  Over and above the normal i need to get in shape, want to be healthy thing.  And obviously those are big ones.  But the comps are something altogether different.  And here is why....

Most of us dont know exactly what we are capable of.  We have preconceived ideas of our own limitations.  Whether we put those on ourselves, or we have absorbed them from outside sources, we all have a little voice inside that DOUBTS what we can do.  Especially as you get older.  Or have some kind of chronic pain.  Or struggle with weight.  Whatever the issue is, somewhere along the line you have heard that those are reasons why you CANT do something.  Or maybe shouldnt.  I dont know, maybe you really shouldnt - but how do you KNOW unless you try?

There are many wonderful things that will never be done if you do not do them. ~Charles D. Gill

When i started SiB, clearly i wanted to work out and couldnt find the right fit for what i was trying to do.  But ultimately, what i was really trying to do was find my people.  I had my people for years at Gold's and floundered fitness-wise for a long time after it closed.  And without really meaning to, but happily and coincidentally, people who like to work out like i do found my gym and brought that community with them.  Why is that such a big deal?  its a gym.  And maybe that is what it started out as.  But now it is so much more than that.

It's really pretty funny because most of us dont have a lot in common OUT of the gym.  Very few of us knew each other or were friends before joining SiB.  Its just kind of organically grown from the kids training, to the parents, to friends of friends.  But even my kids that train arent close outside of the gym.  What we ALL have in common now IS the GYM.  and strangely enough, that's enough to create this crazy awesome community that i totally rely on and love.

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

Why does any of this matter?  Because when you put a bunch of people together who have the same passion for something, magic happens.  I didnt quite get that before.  Today it really hit home.  Because every single person in the studio today worked their tails off and wanted to win (of course), but spent the majority of their time screaming at the top of their lungs cheering for someone else.  We ALL won today.  Because every single person laid it all out there, and did more than they thought they could.  I had more people tell me today that they were "so happy" for or "so proud" of
themselves.  And then "so impressed" with any number of other people.  Smiles abounded, even after the requisite i think i might throw up aftermath.  It was just flat out awesome.

Because EVERYONE wanted the same thing.  Not just THEIR success. but success for the entire community.  And even if i still am trying to win,  i want YOU to also do your very best to beat me.  THAT is how we all get better.  and find out what we are capable of.  I can guarantee you that everyone today feels more empowered by what they accomplished.  and what they helped each other to accomplish.  i couldnt love that more.  And that is why competing is important.  We learn how to push, find our limits & encourage our friends to also find theirs.  It is not about ticking a box, but about EXPANDING the limits of the box you find yourself in.  Or pushing beyond it and making a whole new one.

The deed is everything, the glory naught. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

As i continue to struggle with my losing my dad, this all hits home even more.  This was the first big thing ive done at the gym since he has been gone.  and of course that takes something away from it for me.  Its hard to not have my biggest cheerleader here anymore, for purely selfish reasons. And it just makes everything just a bit dimmer.  But what i realized today, was that those moments pass a little quicker when im surrounded by these people.  and all of their positive energy.  when 24 people are all standing together encouraging one person to keep going.  We dont let each other quit.   and now more than ever, i can appreciate how much that means.  As a community, we help each other through ALL the stuff.  maybe the gym is just the vehicle that we are using to support each other.  but these people ARE my support.  and I am theirs.  we>me, and all that.

In union there is strength. ~Aesop

I want to thank my SiB peeps, old and new for being a part of the family.  We bicker and argue like family.  And more often than not, im the mean sister.  But we have broad shoulders and we can help carry a heck of a load. You all make my life better.  And you make me better.  In the gym and hopefully out of it too.

#SiBtribe

Where we stand

Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off. ~Colin Powell

So this blog was originally going to be something entirely different.  A reminiscent stroll down softball lane, in honor of my dad.  And that one will come at some point.  But to me, a better tribute to him, and all he taught me, is to just clear the air about where i stand on what is happening all around me.  Like most of my friends, we dont want to engage in the political discourse that divides us.  So we dont talk about it.  We tiptoe around the subject, or avoid it altogether, so as not to damage any more relationships.   Go along and get along, as the saying goes.  BUT.  I dont want there to be any question, ever, about where i come down on these things.  Because the issues now are not political.  They are not republican or democrat.  They are human.  And the shut up and keep your head down philosophy - the dont make waves tendancy - is contributing to the problem.  It will always be "someone else's" job or responsibility. It will always be "someone else's" kids that are targeted or alienated.  We cant wait until it is our kids.  Because they are ALL our kids.

Clearly the deterioration of civil conversation starts with where you choose to get your news.  The filtering of information contributes in large part to why we cant talk to each other.  People i know run the gamut from only watching/listening to Fox News/MSNBC, or just completely tuning it out altogether.  No one wants the information that contradicts their opinion or upsets their bubble. AND THIS IS HOW  WE ARE ALL COMPLICIT.

The great thought, the great concern, the great anxiety of men is to restrict, as much as possible, the limits of their own responsibility. ~Giosué Borsi

I cant tell you how many of my intelligent, lovely, successful friends just dont give a flying fuck about what is happening.  Because it does not directly impact them.  They are safe in their community and surrounded by like-minded people, none of whom want to rock the boat.  This is all "someone else's" problem to solve.  And it's time we start calling each other out on it.  At the very least, we need to have the hard conversation.  I recently got together with some old friends.  Both were quick to point out that they did not care or follow politics.  Which is fine.  But they not only don't follow politics, THEY DON'T CARE.  And that is what I am having the hardest time with.  They are both great parents.  Have great jobs. All the stuff that makes for a happy life.  And they just dont want anything intruding on that.  I get it.  I think we all would love to live in that world.  Unfortunately, that is how we get where we are today.  And one morning, in the not too distant future, we are going to wake up in a very different world.  Hate and ignorance are taking over while we are all pretending everything is just fine.

We hate some persons because we do not know them; and will not know them because we hate them. ~Charles Caleb Colton

Let's start with HATE.  That's just the easiest to address.  I dont care if you are a lifelong Republican. I was too.  I dont care if the economy is working for you.  Or if you want judges that will throw us back to the Stone Age.  Im happy to debate policy differences with anyone. What i dont understand is how anyone, ANYONE, is okay with the rhetroric stemming from the White House.  There are not "very good people" on both sides of the Charlottesville debate.  There are not cages full of rapists and criminals at the southern border.  And having white skin does not make anyone more American than anyone else.  Are we so insecure as a RACE of people that we can't embrace mulitculturalism?  Are you so afraid of the black and brown people in your neighborhoods that you are willing to turn a blind eye to the OBVIOUS racism that is bubbling to the surface?  Are you secretly happy that finally FINALLY someone is saying those things you always wished you could say but didnt dare?  If so, open your mind and your heart to the 21st centtury.   Giving someone else the same thing that you ALREADY have, does not diminish you IN ANY WAY.  Respect, love, tolerance.  Everyone wants the same thing for themselves and their families.  Why is all of this only important for YOU? 

Silence at this point is that same as acceptance.  And that is not okay.  Im not saying you need to be a picketing wizard.   Or start fights at every gathering.  You dont have to do anything at all, obviously.  But i hope you think about it.  HARD.  Ask yourself if you are really okay with what is happening?  How would you feel (or will you) when the circumstances in your country cause you to flee - to drag your children hundreds of thousands of miles from home - only to be told that you are not welcome because of the color of your skin.  Because of the language you dont speak.  I can tell you this. As a mother.  I dont want to pack up my toddler for a day at the beach!  You know how much work it is to carry, cajole, entertain a small child for one day. With an ipad.  In an air-conditioned car.  HOW DESPERATE are these people to uproot their entire lives, and put their children thru this MISERY??  How can we be so CALLOUS? It's depressing, and sad.  And it just pisses me off that we cant ALL agree that this is just WRONG. Where are all of my Christians??   My Jesus people?  Jesus didnt just care for the WHITE PEOPLE.  You know Jesus probably didnt even know any white people - let's be honest. You cant only care about people like you.  That's not how this works.

Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.— Proverbs 14:31

Which leads into the IGNORANCE part.  I am not the smartest tool in the shed.  And my opinions are just that - mine.  BUT we are allowing ourselves to, at the very least, be gaslighted by a top notch marketing machine, and at worst be deluded by a complete and utter idiot.  I jokingly said 2 years ago that I felt like I was living in Idiocracy (the movie - if you havent seen it, watch it).  We are being shown half of the information, if that, and being told what to believe.  This is NOT 1984.  But it may as well be.  The amount of flat out LYING that is taking  place may not, in your opinion, be any different than any other administration.   You would be wrong.  That is what the pundits are trying to sell you.  That is what team Trump wants you to believe.   The Washington Post never had to have a full-time fact checker before.  NEVER.  Think about that.  It is someone's full time job to fact check our President. Because he so boldly and blatantly LIES TO YOUR FACE on a daily basis.  If that was your kid, you wouldn't tolerate it. If if was your kid's teacher, you would throw a giant apoplectic fit.  But it's ok if it's the PRESIDENT?  What in the actual FUCK is happening that we think this behavior is ok?  There are no alternative facts.  Why are buying this bullshit? 

The most violent element in society is ignorance.  ~Emma Goldman

It's obvious I'm frustrated.  I just dont understand how we got here.  I dont understand what is so threatening about other people.  Women, black and brown people, lesbians, all the other letters of the GBTQ.  I mean seriously?  What's going to happen to your white, hetero-normative bubble if you allow yourself to be open to "others"?  Absolutely nothing.  There is room for all of us.  Our Congress is made up of an awful lot of old white dudes.  But there are women and minorities representing large swathes of the country.  WHO LOVE THIS COUNTRY.  Just as much as you do.  Fighting for the planet, their families, this country.  They may not agree on substance, but they are all SERVING.  They are all qualified and duly elected.  Just because they disagree with our current fucknut of a President does not mean they dont deserve to be here. It's ludicrous and racist.  PERIOD.

Do not confuse your vested interests with ethics. Do not identify the enemies of your privilege with the enemies of humanity. ~Max Lerner

I dont like Trump.  I never have.  I left the Republican Party when he became the nominee.  I believe that fundamentally he is a bad person.  That's it.   He is A BAD PERSON.  One that i would NEVER want my children to emulate.  And to me that is the saddest part of where we have come as a country.  You may not have liked previous Presidents.  There have been bad people in office before (ahem, Bill Clinton).  But never to this degree.  Never with this complete disregard for anyone but himself.  Donald Trump IS a racist.  And a misogynist. He's a compulsive liar.  You can argue with me about that if you want.  But deep in your heart, you know it is true.  He's the creepy uncle you keep your daughters away from, that you tell stories about, and make excuses for.  And he's the fucking President.  If you still think your tax cuts and judges are more important than the moral, physical and psychological deterioration of the country - good on you.  I hope you dont have young children, god forbid daughters, or children who dont identify as straight. I hope you dont mind living on hell's half acre, eating food that is poisoned by pesticide.  Or running out of water.  I mean, I know all of this stuff wont actually impact YOU, right?

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.  ~Thomas Fuller

To all my old friends who will never speak to me again because i can no longer NOT talk about this - im sorry.  I'm mostly sorry that you just cant see what a slippery slope we are on. Im sorry FoxNews wont show you the corruption, the deceit & the danger associated with having this man run our country.  And Im sorry you would rather bury your head in the sand than open your eyes to what is happening.  I dont agree with a lot of the policies in the Democratic party.  I fight with my kids (a lot) about the dangers of "free" healthcare and "free" college.  I get it.  But these issues are bigger than those.  And i am just so sad that more people that I know dont care.

The opposite of education is not ignorance but indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference. Because of indifference, one dies before one actually dies. ~Elie Wiesel, 1986